The candidates, from both sides of the aisle, would all live together in a big tent. There would be red and blue cots. Their belongings would be stored in matching foot lockers. The bathroom would be unisex with a big sign that said—Please put the seat down!

Al Gore would be the host with Anne Coulter, the right-wing hate-monger, and Ariana Huffington, former conservative turned progressive blogger, as his sidekicks.

The candidates/contestants would be put through a series of challenges to see how they hold up.

The Republicans would have to spend two-days in a simulated foxhole with three soldiers. They would be told that this is a test to see how each would fare in Iraq. After all, if they’re going to send our kids to war they should at least experience it for themselves. The candidate/contestant would be the captain of their platoons.

Two of their comrades in arms (literally) would be from the ranks of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network—former armed forces personnel who had been either kicked out for being a gay man or a lesbian or retired and then came out. The other would be a straight but not narrow soldier look-alike.

They would live through 48 hours of simulated, virtual combat. They’d face the enemy, they’d shoot their weapons, they’d probably kill someone—in a virtual environment, of course.

The actual challenge is to see if the candidate/contestant can figure out which one is straight. Did the gay man and lesbian fight any differently? Did the gay man hold his rifle differently than the straight guy? Did the lesbian get too aggressive and shout “Sappho’s revenge” when killing the enemy? Was the candidate/contestant propositioned by anyone in the foxhole?

If they choose the wrong soldier, they don’t go home. Instead, they get to spend an intensive two days with lesbian and gay armed services personnel hearing their stories, understanding their pain and seeing how our community has experienced Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

If the answer is right, they get to go to the local drag show and experience a tad of gay culture.

Now, the Democrats would have to pair up into same-sex couples—Hillary would get to choose either Coulter or Huffington, the only other women on the show. (I wonder which one she’ll prefer?). After paring up, they would be sent to New Jersey to experience just how unequal civil unions really are.

Each candidate/contestant would be assigned a company that they worked for. Their task would be to get their civil union partners the same workplace benefits that married heterosexual couples get.

Some will be met with success, others won’t. You see in the first 90 days after the civil unions law was enacted in New Jersey, 852 couples got civil unioned yet 102 of those couples were denied benefits by their employers and insurers that married heterosexual couples take for granted. Why? Because civil unions just aren’t the same as marriage—the employers and insurers refuse to recognize civil unions as valid legal partnerships.

The candidate/contestants that are refused benefits then have to engage in some type of action—legal, advocacy, media—to remedy the situation. They’ll have a week to try and turn things around in their particular places of employment. They will get to experience first hand the frustration of being thought of as a second class citizen not worthy of equal marriage rights. Every night they have to blog about it online so that the public can share their frustrations with them or disparage them as degenerates who want to bring down the sanctity of marriage.

For the couple—there will be only one—where both work for firms that recognize civil unions, they’ll spend the week on an all-expense paid vacation to Provincetown (since this all takes place in the summer) during Family Week where they’ll interact with lesbian and gay families who will let them know just how challenging it is to raise their children and support their families without the same legal protections that straight families have.

After eight weeks of challenges, there is a large town hall meeting for all of them to talk about how the experience changed their perspective—or didn’t. No one is voted off the show, that’s left up to the electorate who, like the candidates, may have learned a thing or two about our lives. Win or lose, everyone gets a dose of lesbian and gay reality.